The truth about lies.

September 17, 2017

The truth about lies.


I never told my parents.

There were a lot of reasons why: Shame. Embarrassment. Guilt. A lot of guilt. Because I didn't know how to stop my babysitter's sexual advances, so I felt that somehow it was my fault. The biggest reason why I never told my parents was that even at the age of 12, I couldn't bear to break their hearts. And what was happening to me back then would have devastated them. 

I never told anyone.

I don't remember my 7th or 8th grade counselor's name. Or if we even had any. I'm sure we did, it's just that they probably lived in an office down a hall I never ventured. When I was growing up being sent down to any "office" was a bad thing.
I carried my secret with me until I was 50. 
What 1,843 teens lie to their parents about.
Is that they don't mean to. To lie, that is. They are trying not to concern you. For many reasons. Not because they want to hurt you. Because they don't want to hurt you. Or disappoint you. Or let you down in any way.
The truth about lies is, in these young minds? Without all of that executive functioning that comes as they mature, so much of it can be overwhelming. It may or may not be rational to you. But to them, it is everything. If you take the time to read the article below, it may surprise you that 1/3 - one third - of this sample of kids have suicidal thoughts that they do not tell their parents about.
The only thing I'm clear about is that the last person to know is often the parent. Sadly that truth can sometimes be accompanied by a tragedy of such epic proportions that no other parent can even begin to fathom it. 
What brings me great peace is that now there are counselors like Dr. Elizabeth Parrot, one of the facilitators of girl TRUTH, making a difference in middle school. If she were walking the halls of Whitman Junior High when I was growing up, I think I would have told her.
And what also brings me great peace is that there are moms like Valerie Adomakoh, another facilitator of girl TRUTH, who approached me two years ago - knowing me only through kindred - to share her truth openly with me, ending with: "If this could happen to me, it could happen to anyone." 
And most of all, I am encouraged that there is such bravery in sixteen-year-old Noa, who courageously video taped her truth for our workshop. To help another. If even just one.

girl TRUTH 

Gives our daughters an opportunity to share what is on their hearts and minds. Sometimes it is small, but to them it is big. Sometimes it is big, but they make it small. 

One day can make a difference.

We can't promise to fix anyone or anything. But we do know that one day can make a difference. 
This interactive, multi-media workshop is limited to twenty 7th and 8th grade girls and will take place on Saturday, September 23rd from 11:00AM - 4PM. Lunch and snacks and beverages will be provided, plus expert guidance and a safe environment. 

Deadline to purchase is Wednesday, September 20th. Please buy now if it's your intention to join us!

Tickets are $75.00, buy now: girl TRUTH.
Here's to our girls, friend.
May they all have someone to tell their secrets to.


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