Is that they don't mean to. To lie, that is. They are trying not to concern you. For many reasons. Not because they want to hurt you. Because they don't want to hurt you. Or disappoint you. Or let you down in any way.
The truth about lies is, in these young minds? Without all of that executive functioning that comes as they mature, so much of it can be overwhelming. It may or may not be rational to you. But to them, it is everything. If you take the time to read the article below, it may surprise you that 1/3 - one third - of this sample of kids have suicidal thoughts that they do not tell their parents about.
The only thing I'm clear about is that the last person to know is often the parent. Sadly that truth can sometimes be accompanied by a tragedy of such epic proportions that no other parent can even begin to fathom it.
What brings me great peace is that now there are counselors like Dr. Elizabeth Parrot, one of the facilitators of girl TRUTH, making a difference in middle school. If she were walking the halls of Whitman Junior High when I was growing up, I think I would have told her.
And what also brings me great peace is that there are moms like Valerie Adomakoh, another facilitator of girl TRUTH, who approached me two years ago - knowing me only through kindred - to share her truth openly with me, ending with: "If this could happen to me, it could happen to anyone."
And most of all, I am encouraged that there is such bravery in sixteen-year-old Noa, who courageously video taped her truth for our workshop. To help another. If even just one.